Are you a good friend or a bad friend? I believe there is no such thing.

Who am I and who are you to declare someone as a good or bad friend?

The truth is we label them as good or bad based on our own personal values. 

A bad friend to you is a best friend to someone else.

When describing our friends, we usually say something like…

• We’re best friends
• We’re close friends
• We’re good friends
• We’re just friends

But how accurately does that describe your friendships? Ehhh, moderately.

So how can we more accurately define friendship?

I believe friendships can be defined by seven categories and the highest level of friendship is what I call a “24/7 friend”.

24/7 Friends

A 24/7 friend is someone you can tolerate being around literally for 24 hours and 7 days a week. A 24/7 friend is someone you can be 100% your authentic self when with them.

You know you have a 24/7 friend when…

• someone walks in the room and you both laugh because you share a silent joke
• you sit down at a restaurant and assume we eating family style
• you come over and go straight to their snack drawer
• you facetime them without checking their availability
• you lose the urge to fill room silence
• they tell you your profile pic could be better

So what makes a 24/7 friend? I’ve narrowed down these core traits that are ESSENTIAL to qualify as a 24/7 friend:

1. Equal self worth and value of time

If you surround yourself with people who have LESS value per hour than you, you’ll feel like you’re giving your time like charity. It feels good but you can’t give it all up.

If you surround yourself with people who have MORE value per hour than you, you’ll fear wasting their time and overcompensate by being overly considerate.

Either scenario isn’t sustainable for a 24/7 friend.

If you surround yourself with people who have EQUAL value per hour as you, you’ll feel willing to give more time because you’re both receiving equal value by being together.

2. Complimentary energy levels

Have you ever met someone for just a few minutes and you got “good vibez” from them?

Or do you know someone for years and they’re a great person but you just don’t “vibe” with them?

When hanging out with a friend, energy levels is like dancing. They can drain your energy because they suck so bad, they can over exhaust your energy because you’re trying so hard to keep up, or they can be in rhythm with you.

Complimentary energy levels is so essential for 24/7 friends.

3. Respect and admiration of differences in values

It’s easy to respect and admire someone when they have similar values as you because you love them for who YOU are.

When you hang out with someone who has different values and you respect and admire them for those differences, you love them for who THEY are.

24/7 friends are the ones who get you because of similar values but admire you for things they don’t do themselves.

4. Common core beliefs

Core beliefs are philosophies we each hold dearly that determines our outlook on the world.

A huge core belief of mine is that your present life is a direct output of the compounded decisions you’ve made up to now. If I met someone and they had a core belief that life is determined majority by luck, I immediately know there’s a limitation to how far our friendship can go.

It’s not because I don’t respect their core belief, it’s that it conflicts with my core belief and we will inevitably struggle to connect.

5. Common interest in activities

Common interest in activities is the most efficient way to build a friendship because there is a higher probability you share common beliefs and values.

6. Trust of intentions

Trust of intentions is when you don’t have a reason to not trust someone and your instincts are giving you a green light to get to know someone better.

Although there are many other traits that can validate a 24/7 friend, I believe these traits are the core traits that could make or break a 24/7 friend if any were missing.

Road Trip Friends

A Road Trip Friend is someone you can tolerate being around for 1 – 4 days in a row. This type of friend has all the traits of a 24/7 friend EXCEPT ONE of the essential traits:

• Equal self worth and value of time
• Respect and admiration of differences in values
• Complimentary energy levels
• Common core beliefs
• Common interest in activities
• Trust of intentions

Road Trip Friends are great for a trip to Asia or Europe but hanging out with them after 4 days in a row can become tiring. 

24/7 friends don’t ever become tired when hanging around each other because it takes no effort to be 100% your authentic self.

Weekend Friends

A Weekend Friend is someone you value enough to share a Saturday or Sunday with for concerts, brunch, picnic, etc.

This type of friend has all the traits of a 24/7 friend EXCEPT TWO of the essential traits:

• Equal self worth and value of time
• Respect and admiration of differences in values
• Complimentary energy levels
• Common core beliefs
• Common interest in activities
• Trust of intentions

Weekend friends are definitely potential road trip friends but you’re not certain because you haven’t seen enough sides of them yet.

Dinner & Dessert Friends

A Dinner & Dessert Friend is someone you share enough core beliefs and interest in activities to have entertaining conversations for hours over dinner & dessert.

After 3+ hours of stimulating conversations, forced jokes, silence filler questions, and explaining yourself, your energy is drained.

This type of friend has ONLY THREE of the essential traits of a 24/7 friend:

• Equal self worth and value of time
• Respect and admiration of differences in values
• Complimentary energy levels
• Common core beliefs
• Common interest in activities
• Trust of intentions

Dinner & Dessert Friends can quickly promote to Weekend Friends if both parties have a desire to be more casual and comfortable.

Lunch Friends

A Lunch Friend is someone who you trust and share common interests with but are still discovering their core beliefs and values.

People usually don’t stay here for too long. It’s often a temporary position used to screen them for more 24/7 friend potential.

This type of friend has ONLY TWO of the essential traits of a 24/7 friend:

• Equal self worth and value of time
• Respect and admiration of differences in values
• Complimentary energy levels
• Common core beliefs
• Common interest in activities
• Trust of intentions

Plus One Friends

A Plus One Friend is someone you just met through one of the friend types listed above. You know nothing about them but they are coming through a friend you’ve screened already. Pretty much a pre-qualified 24/7 friend lead 🙂 

This type of friend has ONLY ONE of the essential traits of a 24/7 friend:

• Equal self worth and value of time
• Respect and admiration of differences in values
• Complimentary energy levels
• Common core beliefs
• Common interest in activities
• Trust of intentions

Paper Friends

A Paper Friend is someone you met and had positive vibes with and see them as a potential lunch friend or above.

You see 24/7 friend potential but not enough to promote to Lunch Friend right away.

So you follow them on social media JUST IN CASE you see more potential in the future.

Conclusion

It’s insane to me that I have 24/7 friends that I only see once a year at the same time have paper friends I see everyday.

I’m convinced that quality of friendships cannot be measured by time but rather by these essential traits:

• Equal self worth and value of time
• Respect and admiration of differences in values
• Complimentary energy levels
• Common core beliefs
• Common interest in activities
• Trust of intentions

I used to be the type of person who had few friends but very rich in relationship. At that time I thought you could either have more quality OR quantity of friends but never both. This was because I legit thought more time = more friendships.

I also had an assumption that I can only have one “best friend” since it’s limited to one person at a time.

This is true, but there is no limitation on how many 24/7 friends you can have!

I’ve been blessed to have many 24/7 friends. However, it’s not because I knew more people. It’s because I searched harder for these traits immediately when I meet someone.

Friendships isn’t necessary to live a life but it does increase the quality of life like watching from a 4k TV.

But where can I find more 24/7 friends?

Become one.